FIVE

 

This August marks the fifth anniversary for the Watford Writers Kids Lit group, a group I’ve recently joined. For our last meeting before the summer break we tasked ourselves with writing something for 5 year olds. This was my contribution:

Things I Learned by the Age of Five 

You can’t hide from thunder under the stairs.

Don’t go to school without underwear.

Don’t eat worms. They wriggle and writhe,

Taste quite horrific and won’t help you survive.

Burps from the mouth should be covered by hand.

Burps from the bottom: don’t blame them on Gran.

Washing your hands when you’ve been to the loo

Means Jennifer Barton won’t say “I smell poo!”

Snoodles and bogies are not what mum means

When she makes a big deal about eating your greens.

This much I knew by the time I turned five.

It’s done me no harm and I’m still alive.

Words and photograph copyright John Hartley 2025